Why would anyone want to keep nursing after the first year?

Remember that this is unedited text -- like "letters to the editor." Identifying information, such as names, has been removed; but otherwise it is posted here pretty much as it came in. So read it as personal opinion shared with warm intentions but without authority of any kind.

• From the prestigious British medical journal, The Lancet, July 20, 2002:

     The longer women breast feed, says the Collaborative Group on Hormonal Factors in Breast Cancer, the more they are protected against breast cancer. "The lack of or short lifetime duration of breastfeeding typical of women in developed countries makes a major contribution to the high incidence of breast cancer in these countries."

• Listen to the NPR commentator Marion Winik's touching thoughts while nursing her toddler. [This commentary by Marion Winik was originally broadcast on NPR's All Things Considered® on June 12, 2002, and is used with permission of National Public Radio, Inc. Any unauthorized duplication is strictly prohibited.]

• The Animal Welfare Institute reports that forced weaning isn't good for cows either. See their online article about Birth Intervals in Cattle

My daughter is 26, and is happily, successfully nursing her 16 month old daughter. As I sit and look at them, I remember her at my breast. I nursed her for over two years, stopping only when she insisted that other times and interests would replace it. . . . The continuity from generation to generation is so warm and awe- inspiring. The smile on my son-in-law's face when he looks at his wife and child is special to see and I am reminded of my late husband's special look when he would beam down at us. Yes, we remember nursing later in life.

I have begun to wonder over the last few months if I'm doing something wrong because I have chosen to continue nursing my little girl. I decided when I had her that I would let her decide when it was time not to nurse anymore, at 2 1/2 she is still very content to cuddle up with me after a long day and nurse for a little while until she falls asleep in my arms. I'm not quite sure which one of us is more contented! I think it's very mutual. I needed to hear of other women who feel that it is perfectly normal and natural to continue until the child feels secure and grown up enough to "let go" completely. I have come across people in my family and within my social circle who totally disagree and believe that I'm making her a "wimp".

I think many women feel that if they stop nursing their toddler it will give them more freedom because the toddler will be less dependent. I believe that the toddler will still need the mother as much if not more because the intimacy of nursing is not available. The difference is that the need will be met in different ways. The risk is that the need will go unrecognized by the mother and be difficult for the child to express, thus allowing the need to go unmet.

The main reason my daughter and I are still nursing aside from all the other great reasons already mentioned is that she loves it so much and I love her so how could I refuse her something she wants, enjoys and is so good for her. When I sit down to nurse her she gets such a happy look on her face it brings tears to my eyes. How could I refuse?

In your next book, please give detailed and referenced reasons why nursing past the traditional 6 weeks is a good and normal thing! I really wanted to be able to present all the naysayers with research to back up my "emotional reactions led by hormones."

• A good place to start is Breastfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives by Kathryn Dettwyler.

• For an especially well-informed mother's view, read this article on extended breastfeeding by Sarah Buckley, M.D.

• "Prolonging breastfeeding during the weaning process may result in a better developmental performance at 12 months, possibly due to the supply of fats affecting brain composition." (from the abstract of: Agostoni C ; Marangoni F ; Lammardo AM ; Giovannini M ; Riva E ; Galli C, Breastfeeding duration, milk fat composition and developmental indices at 1 year of life among breastfed infants. Prostaglandins Leukot Essent Fatty Acids (Prostaglandins, leukotrienes, and essential fatty acids.) 2001 Feb; 64(2): 105-9)

-- And what reason do we have to think the brain benefits from the fats in breastmilk stop at 12 months? NJB

I'm presently nursing my soon to be 3 and a half year old son. I truly believe that our nursing has created a bond between us that will last forever. I think when a child reaches a certain age, not sure when, nursing becomes one of the most focal points of his/her life. The child comes for the breast for so many different reasons, comfort, calming down, to be near Mommie, for sleep, or just to spend time being cuddled. When I first began to nurse my son, I said, well, maybe for three months, then on and on, it's something that I've grown to look forward to during my own day. Now I can't help (sometimes) thinking of the time it will stop, all the comforting, and assurances I have received, will simply be gone like my own little "Little" boy.

My son who is 22 months had Rota Virus 2 months ago. Even though he did not eat one bite of food for over 6 days and had continual vomiting and diarrhea for over 4 days, he didn't get put in the hospital. I was told the only reason he avoided it is because I still breastfeed him. Thank God for that! I was so worried he would dehydrate but because he would nurse for the comfort even though he didnt feel like eating he recieved the liquids and nutrition he needed.

I can say a lot of good things about extended nursing, ... little to no sickness, secure child, wonderful shared sleeping, bonds with other nursing mothers ... And the bad things like disapproval from family and society (I nursed in public a lot...a political statement, I think), times when I thought I'd be nursing forever, etc.

I derive much comfort and joy in *still* nursing my son. It is the only way I get any cuddles now anyhow...otherwise he is running around non-stop checking everything out. Nursing a toddler is so good for their bodies, minds, emotional well-being, owies, temper-tantrums...I could go on!!

My friend nursed her son until 3-1/2 and when he got e coli . . . he was the only child with it that didn't have to go on a kidney dialysis machine. All the doctors attributed this miracle to breastfeeding.

My daughter is 9 months old. At 6 months she was diagnosed with a form of eye cancer. Thank goodness for breastmilk. It is considered a clear fluid and I am able to nurse immediately when she comes out of the anesthesia. She has to be checked under anesthesia every six weeks until she is 3 years old. What a great excuse to continue nursing! It is an incredible comfort to her and especially to me.

Life is relatively easy before the first birthday! My daughter started walking right around her first birthday. Suddenly, the world was a huge and sometimes dangerous place. She fell and needed the comfort of the breast. She would wander a little too far away and need to check in at Mommy's breast for reassurance. The constant excitement of having a big brother was hard to ignore unless she could relax with a little milky. The benefits of nursing just keep growing as the child grows! At one year, I felt like we were off to a good start in our nursing career together.

My son is now 23 months and shows no signs of weaning anytime soon. Nursing is a valuable tool, aside from the intimacy and attachment it is providing us.
     First, when my son had a stomach flu a couple of months ago, my milk was the only thing gentle enough for his tummy, and I didn't have to worry about dehydration. Second, when my son had a cold, we did have to try to clear his nose so he *could* nurse, but when he could, I didn't have to worry about my milk congesting him the way cow's milk would have. In both cases, he lacked an appetite, yet was still getting his caloric needs met because he wanted to nurse for comfort!
     The other way I think of nursing as a tool in the toddler years is through using it to calm and comfort a child who is tired, stressed, or injured. I consider it a magic elixir when it comes to using nursing to stop the tears and soothe hurt feelings
     An additional benefit is that it also calms mummy! I still get those wonderful relaxed feelings from nursing hormones, and so sometimes it soothes MY hurt feelings, too! :-)

Older nursing children build such wonderful self esteem for the future.

My daughters are now 12, 20 and 26. I am sure that our years of nursing contributed to our close relationships today.

Amongst the things I learned were: not to feel guilty about nursing an older child....that an older child has needs at the breast also.

Our now 28 mo old son who has had the flu for a week, has hardly taken two bites of food, but thank God, he is still nursing so I know he is getting some nutrition in him!! If he were weaned already, he would be in trouble.

All my children (now 19, 16, and 10 and no longer nursing!), and particularly the younger two, for whom extended nursing wasn't a struggle, seem to have this kind of solid sense of calm self-esteem and confidence. It's not that they are always calm and never get upset or worried, or that they are snobs; its that they never seem to doubt that they are okay people, even when others may be implying that they aren't. It reminds me of the weighted bottom in a buoy that keeps it from tipping or brings it immediately back up. I have seen this demonstrated in a lot of ways--with friends, with teachers and other grown- ups, with me, in the face of challenges--and it never ceases to amaze me. I am not this way. My husband is a little more so, but not the same as the kids. This may come from other things, perhaps other child-rearing practices that involve letting them make other decisions and trusting them on choices they make, or personality. There's probably no way to prove it one way or another, but I wonder about the role of extended nursing.

     I am a young mother, age 23, and have nursed two toddlers. My son, to age 15 months, and my two and a half year old daughter who is still nursing. I raise quite a few eyebrows with my daughter's extended nursing, but for the most part it is a satisfying experience. I was nursed to age three and my husband to age two and a half so we kind of figure we are just holding with tradition.

     We both feel lucky to have been nursed so long and partially attribute our happy, satisfying marriage to that fact. We share a trusting and respectful relationship and I believe that an early childhood that includes a loving breastfeeding relationship can contribute to healthy adult relationships. I feel that a few years spent nursing a toddler can create a lifetime legacy of love and trust.

My son was 19 months old when I weaned him. To this day I regret that decision. I was told to discontinue breastfeeding because I was about to have my second child. Three months later my daughter arrived. Although I only had 19 months of breastfeeding bliss with my son, excluding the first two months of pain, we are bonded together more deeply than he will ever be with anyone else, sorry to say but even including his father. I greatly attribute our wonderful relationship to breastfeeding. I think that bottle fed children and their mothers are missing the most phenomenal experience that a mother and child can ever have through breastfeeding. For those women who can but don't; it breaks my heart. My daughter who is 22 months old is not interested in weaning as of yet, and to tell you the truth, neither am I. I want this experience to last as long as she desires to nurse. My sister-in-law, a post-natal nurse, breastfed her daughter till she was five. . . . Nursing is a huge part of my life and my daughter's. I desire to show her how much I love her by providing her with something that she loves, something that brings her comfort, something that creates a sense of security in a very insecure world.

• The American Academy of Pediatrics in their Policy Statement, Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk, recommends breastfeeding for at least 12 months, and for as long after that as "mutually desired."

• Why I Nurse My Toddler, By Karen Koonce, from: La Leche League's NEW BEGINNINGS.

• Breastfeed a Toddler - Why on Earth? , By by Pediatrician, Dr. Jack Newman, MD , FRCPC.