Siblings

Remember that this is unedited text -- like "letters to the editor." Identifying information, such as names, has been removed; but otherwise it is posted here pretty much as it came in. So read it as personal opinion shared with warm intentions but without authority of any kind.

A mother who nursed three toddlers writes: More is needed in general about sibling rivalry with the older one and the toddler that is nursing. Stories of how to handle older jealous kids and the toddler that gets that extra attention.

When we first brought home our daughter, our older son, who was 16 months then, didn't know how to react to her. He tried playing with her like she was a doll, but soon found out that it wasn't allowed. After many months went by and she started to move around he was happy to have a constant playmate. The only time that he didn't like was when she was nursing. I don't know if it was because it was something he didn't remember because he was weaned at 9 weeks or if he just didn't like the time it took us away from him. When our daughter, was about 11 months he started to become very interested in what nursing was. He shocked me one day by pretending to nurse on one breast while his sister was at the other. I didn't try to discourage him because by now I had read a little about tandem nursing and I hoped if he was to start nursing again after 2 years that it would help our relationship. I had already noticed the difference between my two children's behavior that I attribute to our nursing relationship. My son is a very energetic boy who likes to tell me NO! as often as possible while my daughter is helpful and calm most of the time.
Now that she is 15 months and he is 2 1/2 years old, he still continues to pretend but doesn't actually latch on. He even tells Baby, as he calls his sister, that it is time to nurse and he directs her to the breast he chooses. I am kind of sad that I didn't nurse him as long as I have nursed his sister but it is wonderful that he has joined our breastfeeding relationship.

When I was pregnant and explaining to my son that the baby would nurse too and he would have to share. He told my parents and my friends, "I am having a baby. . . , and I'm not going to share!" Not long afterward, he decided it would be okay and then said, "This one is mine, and this one is hers!"

One day my 4-year-old accidentally fell off the bed. She started screaming in pain & shock. So I carried her to console her. My 17-year-old boy walked over to have a look at his sister. He then suggested "Milk! Momma Milk!" -- his cure-all remedy!