Using a Private Code

Remember that this is unedited text -- like "letters to the editor." Identifying information, such as names, has been removed; but otherwise it is posted here pretty much as it came in. So read it as personal opinion shared with warm intentions but without authority of any kind.

Many find it helpful for verbal but sometimes indiscreet children to have an unobtrusive code word for nursing. This can reduce embarrassment around people who may not be accustomed to nursing toddlers.

My daughter nursed for 49 months. She had her own code word, I'm clueless about its origin. She would bounce on her bottom and chant her mantra "Nappies, nappies, nappies!" from about 2 years on. This went over well with especially my in-laws who just knew she was weaned.

By the time my daughter was two, she had come up with a code word for nursing, and during church would ask for "deedees", often in a loud voice. This really was not a problem for me, even though my family liked to sit in the front or second row of a very large church. The issue we had was that she was of the age when she liked to stroke my breast while she was nursing and wanted her "deedees big". The best I could do at the time was try to explain that she had to have her "deedees little" in church.

One mother writes of teaching her son a sign "(like American Sign Language) for him to use before he was really verbal. This avoided the fussing and tugging on my shirt. I soon learned that he was able to communicate even more through this one little sign. It was a simple finger tips of one hand touching, and tapping the cheek. He began to use the sign to tell me which side he preferred to start with at that particular feeding. He would tap his or my right cheek if he wanted the right side for example. He also was able to tell me just how much he needed to nurse. A light tap told me that it sounded like a nice idea but if he started banging on his or my cheek I knew it was time to nurse right then!. All of this at 10 months of age. He used the sign until he was very verbal about 18 months.

I just read of the mother teaching her child signals for nursing. I did the same with my daughter, starting at about eight months. I tap my chest and say "oh-pai", which is Japanese for lactating breast. At about 11 months, my daughter started catching on, but she calls nursing "mo-mo," as I used to ask her if she wants more. That sign, however, has made me so comfortable knowing that I won't be embarrassed when she wants to nurse in public by having her tug on my shirt. She just pats her chest and says "mo-mo" and no one is the wiser.

When my daughter was about a year old we began to use sign language to communicate. She made up a facial expression to let me know that she wanted to nurse. She would purse her lips as if she were drinking from a straw and would make a sucking sound. It was so cute! Now that she is almost 28 months old she will ask for cheche. This is a shortened version of the word "leche" - Spanish for milk.

After reading your book I began asking my son if he wanted "Na Na". It is very close to MaMa so others don't notice, unless he is pulling at my shirt, even then some don't understand. It was the first word he could clearly say and would use consistantly. He now points to his own breasts and calls them "Na Na."