Remember that this is unedited text -- like "letters to the editor." Identifying information, such as names, has been removed; but otherwise it is posted here pretty much as it came in. So read it as personal opinion shared with warm intentions but without authority of any kind.

What I am about to report stemmed from thinking about how a child strives for independence in the third year. My son had been reacting to each request or statement to change activities by becoming upset and demanding to nurse. This includes his favorite activities (What child would refuse to go into a toy store?!?), as well as eating, bathing, etc. I began a new approach by telling him what we are about to do, and ask if he wants to nurse first. Currently, he almost always chooses to nurse, and then is much more cooperative in disengaging from his previous activity and complying with my request. I think he simply wants a say in his agenda, and this is how he is exerting his independence. Another example occurred today. My son was sitting on a coin-operated horse at the store. It was time to go, and my husband told him that we were leaving in two minutes. Our son howled a "no!" in protest. So my husband said, "O.k. How about going bye-bye in one minute?" My son said, "All right", and happily slid off the horse immediately! All he wanted was a choice! He didn't even care what the choice was. (we had a good chuckle about it later)

So now we are trying to give him more choices. He chooses the direction we go on our bike rides when we come to an intersection. He occasionally wants to choose what to wear. I try to frequently give him the opportunity to nurse before we change activities. It seems to be working. I can get to the grocery store without a hassle most of the time, and my son seems much happier about it. Tantrums have been minimized, and he will now let me hold, comfort, and nurse him out of it most of the time.

In every stage of his life, my son has taught me more about understanding him, and how to meet his needs. Once again, I believe the closeness of our nursing relationship has helped tremendously in achieving this. I would still appreciate any other insights you or your readers have.